When one expectant mom contacted her doctor regarding prenatal screening results, she instructed not to disclose her baby’s sex. Expectant parents opt not to learn the sex of their baby for varied reasons.
A study conducted by Ohio State University researchers focused on first-time expectant mothers. It found that those who kept the baby’s sex a surprise often displayed high levels of ‘openness to experience’ and held egalitarian gender role views. Researchers proposed that some parents intentionally avoid discovering their baby’s sex to prevent gender stereotypes from influencing expectations, gifts, and parenting choices before birth.
Al Sheahan, residing in Perth, Australia, contacted her doctor during her second pregnancy. “We didn’t find out the sex of our first child and didn’t intend to find out for our second either,” she told Newsweek. The call was to review Non-Invasive Prenatal Testing (NIPT) results. Sheahan reminded the doctor, “I don’t want to know the sex. I think it might be on there [the results], so please don’t tell me.” Despite the clear request, the doctor disclosed the baby’s sex.
Sheahan was stunned when informed of having a girl, and tried to ignore the information. “I just said, ‘No, no, no, I don’t want to know the sex, sorry,’ and pretended I didn’t hear,” she said. The revelation deviated from the surprise she cherished with her first child’s birth.
Sheahan expressed disappointment, yet refrained from resentment towards the doctor. She later found humor in the event accruing from learning about a healthy baby. Ultimately, Nora Snowy Sheahan, named after her great grandfather, was born months later, and will soon celebrate her first birthday.
After encountering both experiences of knowing and not knowing a baby’s sex beforehand, Sheahan compared the two approaches. She stated, “As long as you don’t have a gender preference, there aren’t many surprises left in life, and discovering who your baby is at birth is genuinely special.” While choosing a name became simpler, Sheahan noted the joy of surprise as invaluable.
Sheahan provided advice for those wanting to keep their baby’s sex unknown. She recommended reminding providers at each conversation’s start, as slips are common. “I wouldn’t do anything differently. Everything happens for a reason, and she was always going to be our girl whether we found out early or not,” she said.