Parents often worry about their children’s ability to handle challenges. Building resilience doesn’t happen overnight. A 2019 study in Health Affairs found that children thrive with strong support systems and positive family ties, even in tough times.

Expert Tips for Building Child Resilience

Manhattan-based psychotherapist Katie Rose shared practical strategies with Newsweek to help parents foster resilience in their children.

1. Limit Your Child’s Choices

Rose advises against giving children too much responsibility too soon. Too many choices can overwhelm them.

“Resilient children develop confidence in their ability to solve problems over time,” she explained.

Rose’s recommendations:

• For children ages 0-6, limit choices with toys, clothes, and activities to build trust in caregivers.
• For ages 6-12, offer limited options and guide them in making decisions.
• For teens, act as a consultant and allow them to take responsibility for their choices.

Gradually increase responsibility as they gain confidence and decision-making skills.

2. Protect and Revere Childhood

Rose stresses that children need to feel fundamentally safe to develop resilience.

“A calm nervous system supports curiosity, creativity, emotional regulation, and healthy risk-taking,” she said. “Children burdened with adult concerns face undue stress.”

Rose’s recommendations:

• Shield children from adult worries, constant news, and complex issues beyond their maturity level.
• Communicate honestly, clearly, and appropriately for their age.
• Listen more and lecture less. Use the acronym WAIT: “Why Am I Talking?”
• Reduce overscheduling and excessive activities. Leave time for rest, boredom, and unstructured play.

3. Connect Before You Correct

Rose emphasizes the importance of accepting children’s emotions to help them handle challenges.

“We want our children to learn that difficult emotions are manageable, mistakes repairable, and setbacks part of growth,” she stated.

Rose’s recommendations:

• Create a safe, supportive home environment where children feel secure.
• Acknowledge and name their emotions before offering solutions or corrections.
• Focus on making them feel understood during tough times.
• Wait for emotions to settle before providing guidance or feedback.

4. Model Healthy Coping

Children learn resilience by observing adults’ responses to challenges.

“They learn more from what we model than what we tell them,” Rose said. “Consistent healthy coping, flexible thinking, and self-compassion help them internalize these skills.”

Rose’s recommendations:

• Ask open-ended questions like, “What do you think we could do next?” instead of solving problems immediately.
• Praise effort, persistence, and learning rather than focusing solely on results.
• Demonstrate stress management through techniques like deep breathing and problem-solving.
• Show that mistakes can be acknowledged and repaired by apologizing when necessary.
• Model flexibility and self-compassion during difficult situations.

For more insights, contact Newsweek editors Charlotte Nisbet and Emma Lee-Sang.