Lilly, a 4-year-old, greeted me simply with a ‘Hi,’ but her approach raised a concern. At 67, I believe children should address adults with formal titles like ‘Mr. Alperson.’ There’s a growing trend where children are not taught to respect their elders adequately, which can have significant negative consequences.

Data supports this observation. The National Center for Education Statistics found increased student discipline problems from 2009-10 to 2019-20. Reports of student verbal abuse towards teachers rose from 5 to 10 percent, and acts of disrespect increased from 9 to 15 percent.

A study published in Science Advances noted that people believe kids respect elders less now than before. Those valuing authority see this decline more acutely. Older people, in particular, perceive this disrespect growing over time.

More alarmingly, the American Psychological Association found that 57 percent of teachers faced physical violence at school from 2019 to 2023.

Improving Respect Among Children

Children need discipline from parents as much as they need love. When children lack respect for older generations, they may face various difficulties. These might occur in job environments, social situations, or interactions with authority figures.

Dennis Prager emphasizes the biblical command to honor one’s parents, rather than merely loving them. This suggests that parent-child relationships cherish respect as a core value.

For children to respect authority, parents must act as respectable authority figures. Permitting kids to use first names for adults blurs respect boundaries. Authority figures such as pastors, rabbis, and doctors warrant formal addresses like ‘Pastor Smith’ or ‘Dr. Brown.’ This practice helps children recognize and respect authority.

Before the 1960s, students stood when teachers entered classrooms, a sign of respect now often viewed as outdated. Parents can help restore respect by supporting educators, especially when facing challenges with their children.

Encouraging Adult Conversations

Children need to learn not to interrupt adults. An exception is only when waiting is impractical. Allowing kids to interrupt devalues adult discourse and by extension, adults themselves.

Understanding Respect’s Value

Children should respect adults for their life experiences and wisdom which they cannot yet fully understand. Like religious leaders guide spiritual growth, adults can mentor children into responsible adulthood.

Many adults have faced significant adversities, such as job loss, divorce, or personal tragedy. These challenges should inspire younger generations to honor those with such experience.

Communities thrive when guided by respected teachers. These lessons are crucial for a child’s development, preventing them from repeating adult mistakes. A child respecting their parents enriches society more than mere affection can.

While demanding respect might not seem loving, it provides children with a greater opportunity for a good life.

Joel Alperson is the Chief Business Officer of NeuralRegen, focusing on therapies for Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s. Alongside editing ‘The Rational Bible’ commentary, he served as National Fundraising Chairman for the United Jewish Appeal. With his wife Conny, they are parents to four children.

The opinions in this article are those of the writer.